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DOA

Deficit of Attention is a blog about nothing which is a fancy way of saying it's about everything; politics, corporate life, religion, personal rants, you name it, I blog it.

On Being A Jedi

Thursday, May 19, 2005
I want to free the oppressed. I want to take on a whole bunch of bad guys with only a light saber and kill every one of them. I want to feel transcendant. I want to wear cool looking outfits and be part of an elite society of thinking warriors. I want to go to the new Star Wars movie, ASAP.

In The Name of Something

Few things tick me off more than people who claim to be Christians and in the name of God promote pacificism. It's common sense to me that if my "neighbor" is being attacked that it is not only just for me to intervene but it is my moral duty. To not do so is to become complicit in the injustice. (No, this doesn't mean we should go to war against every despot in the world or that we shouldn't try peaceful and diplomatic means first.)

Right below pacificists on the "people who tick me off" list are those who continue to swear that the war in Iraq is unjust. (Frequently they hide behind religion as part of their reasoning.)

I'm not sure why religious people who take these positions arouse such ire in me. It could be that I think they mis-represent Christianity. Frequently it's these types who go around shouting about how God isn't a Republican, but then they assert, in effect, that he's a liberal democrat.

I'm generally not a violent person but I have an irrational desire to beat the crap out of these people...but that's just me.

Call Me!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005
The other day I was sitting in an extremely long meeting. It was in one of those conference rooms that you see in newer offices where one whole wall of the room is glass and you can see the hallway.

I guess using more glass lends a less claustrophobic feel to the room and it also probably prevents your co-workers who are having affairs with each other from using the table for their illicit trysts. But it's also extremely unfair to people like me. People who HATE sitting in meetings and almost every meeting, even those of short duration, seem LONG and BORING.

There I am, sitting in my meeting. Occasionally, someone walks by in the hall outside. I felt like I was in a cage and those people were able to run free (free range office workers) while I was penned up. I wanted to hum, "Born-Free, as free as the wind should be, as free as..." you get the idea.

That's when the idea for a new business hit me. The customer knows they'll be in a boring meeting, maybe even a church service, a lecture, even on a date, whatever, and they want an excuse to leave. They just go to the web and submit their cell phone number and the time they'd like you to call them. For a very small fee, you do so. They could even suggest what you should say in case the call is overheard.

Sounds like a big money maker to me.

The service would be called, "Call Me" and the theme song on the commercial would, of course, be the song Call Me!

Types with Keyboard

Monday, May 16, 2005
"Dances with Wolves", the movie with Kevin Costner, was on tv over the weekend. When it first came out I thought it was an okay movie if you could ignore the liberal bias and sermonizing in it. I watched it for a while yesterday. I didn't watch the whole thing since I'd rather have dental work without anesthetic than sit through a 3 hour movie with commercials every 10 minutes. But I watched enough of it to be really impressed at how good of a movie it was.

I suspect I didn't notice as much of the liberal dogma because we've gotten so used to it in virtually everything coming out of hollywood these days. Speaking of Hollywood, I don't see nearly as many movies as I used to. Maybe that means something too.

I should get Dances with Wolves on DVD and watch it. No, on second thought, life is too short for watching 3 hour movies especially politically correct ones. (Mental note to self: Don't go see Kingdom of Heaven.)

MSM blah blah blah

The leftward bias of the mainstream media has become so common that it seems almost like a cliche' to even mention it. Most people, at least most people with the exception of Michael Moore and a few other kooks, acknowledge the bias that seems ever-present.

The big frenzy over the Newsweek story which erroneously stated that a US Soldier destroyed the Koran in an attempt to interrogate someone is a prime example. Of course, everyone wants to beat up on Newsweek - not only for their sloppy reporting but for the subsequent non-apology apology. Yes they should report better but did they cause all those deaths and rioting? Let's face it, the people that rioted in Afghanistan and elsewhere were just looking for an excuse. If it wasn't this it would've been something else.

While we're on the subject of media bias, the Washington Post reported today on some "parallels" between the events in the new Star Wars movie and the Bush Administration. The supposed lesson was about how good intentions can turn a democracy into a dictatorship. I could picture the reporter rubbing his hands together with glee as he composed this story.

I'm tired of complaining about media bias. Complaining doesn't do any good and no rational argument will convince anyone in the media to report in any other way. The only thing capable of stopping media bias is the market. Two things need to happen to remedy this situation. First, if you are tired of the bias in a specific broadcast, stop watching and stop buying the products advertised. Second, if you're a fatcat Republican or even Libertarian how about putting your money where your mouth is and investing it in starting a newspaper or television network. Fox is great, but there's plenty of room out there for others. It isn't necessary or even advisable to start another network or newspaper to feed political talking points to the public, from a Left or Right point of view. It's only necessary to bring fair reporting.

Until conservatives make better progress in the media and the education establishments, conservative viewpoints, and even the existence of the Republic are under constant threat. So stop complaining. Start your own personal boycott and if you're stinkin' rich pony up some money.

The Lexicon of DOA

Tuesday, May 10, 2005
This is an anonymous blog so I need to have a lexicon of sorts to make it easier to communicate certain things. It's a mixture of LOTR, Narnia, and whatever else pops into my head. Keep in mind that the characterisations are exaggerated. However, there is usually more than a seed of truth in them.

The Dark Lord
My egotistical arrogant ass of a boss. He's king over all he surveys and knows it. He's a legend in his own mind. When he's in front of the tv cameras or with people he wants to impress, he thinks he's fooling everyone but somehow I doubt it. Also known as Lord Sauron, The Emperor, or Himself.

Angel of Death
She's the hatchet person for the dark lord. If she shows up at your office or cubical unannounced it means that your career at the firm has come to an abrupt end. She'll smile while she terminates you. She is totally amoral and would kill for the dark lord. Don't cross her.

The Crystal Palace
The most recent office of the firm. Constructed as a showplace of sorts to help show off the firms products. It's a testament to the gargantuan ego of the dark lord.

The Hinterlands
Any area outside the 200 mile radius of Metropolis. If I was a blue stater or Hillary Clinton I'd refer to this as flyover country.

Metropolis
It isn't one city but more like an entire region. It spans for a radius of about 200 miles from the downtown area.

Mayberry
The town where I live. An idyllic place, more or less.

The Firm
My employer. If you're one of the stars they try to make you comfortable so you'll never leave. If you're not, then you're cannon fodder. Most people are somewhere in between depending on the whims of the dark lord. Not a bad place really but it's sole purpose is to serve the dark lord.

The Redoubt
My office. It's in a different location than much of The Firm's business and it's a place where I more or less call the shots. I've managed to corrupt most of those who work for me so that our workplace culture, while still one that emphasizes excellence, is a much saner place to work than the rest of the firm.


More to be added...

Nagging Pessimism

I received a promotion of sorts last night. I should be thrilled and I guess I'm happy about it, but mostly there's just the fear that somehow I'll screw it up. It's not that I'm a screw-up. I'm fairly succesful in my job, an elder at church, etc... but there's always that sense of inadequacy lurking in the background.

It's not that I'm perfect either. I'm a procrastinator. I have an annoying tendency to be late for everything and I don't always follow-through with things the way I should.

I pray that somehow God will take this bundle of successes and failures and make it into something really cool. In the meantime, I'm going to have to learn to shake off the nagging pessimism.

Catface, Dogface

Friday, May 06, 2005
I just read a post that had me laughing out loud. It's about the difference between cats and dogs,
"So let me get this straight: you let a furry animal take a shit in a box of sand, bury it with his paws, and then hop up onto furntiture, even your own bed, to lick the spare poo off of his butt? That is foul."
It goes on...
"But I can throw a racquetball at one of my two dogs, and then sit down with a cold drink and a smoke to spend the next 20 minutes watching two 70-pound canines play an elaborate dance-like game with each other. It's absolutely fascinating and hilarious. It's like watching midgets sumo wrestle in fur suits while fighting over possession of a little blue ball of ecstasy. It's laugh-out-loud funny, is all I'm saying."
As far as I'm concerned Dogs rank higher than cats. Cats are okay, but the dog is king.
Go read the whole thing. It's funny and it's here.

Bald is The New Mullet

Thursday, May 05, 2005
Over at Rate My Mullet they characterize the mullet wearing type of person,
"Research on the mullet phenomena, at this stage, is still in its infancy. However it is suggested by many top laboratories that the mullet, as it slowly reaches maturity, begins to grow tentacles into the brain of the victim. which affect several areas of the brain and fundamentally alter the candidate's actions and behavioural responses. Said behavioural changes mainly include extreme agression, the proclivity to consume large amounts of alcohol, pedophilia, lack of hygeine, dramatic reduction in inhibitions (often bolstered by the consumption of alcohol), sense of paranoia and distrust towards authority/governmental figures, and most importantly - steadily decreasing IQ levels."
Lately, though, I've been noticing people with these same characteristics who are bald. Not bald as in, "I'm a poor guy of a certain age who's lost his hair due to bad genes." but bald as in, "I want to look like a bad-ass so I'm going to shave off all my hair."
I'm no sociologist, but I may be onto a trend here. Remember, you heard it here first, Bald is the new Mullet.

Postcard Voyeur

Monday, May 02, 2005
I couldn't handle working at the post office. I'm too nosy. I would want to read people's postcards. Which is the reason, I guess, that PostSecret is so darn addictive.

People send in postcards containing a secret. He posts them. It's a simple concept but pretty entertaining.

I'm tempted to send in a postcard...but I can't think of any secrets.