Standing on The Edge
I feel like I'm standing on the edge...of something. Yesterday I felt like I was standing on the edge of a precipice about to tumble to the depths below. I spent the day alternating between feeling sorry for myself, feeling angry at my situation and just plain depressed. Today I feel oddly optimistic, like the edge that I'm standing on is really the verge of something great.
Yet my circumstances haven't changed one bit.
I've been struggling to develop a plan for what I'm going to do with the rest of my life - or at least the next few months of it. It all comes down to mastering my fear. Sometimes I can do that by looking logically at things and sometimes doing so only increases the fear. There are two bible passages that I've kept on my desk lately,
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phillipians 4:6-8
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6 (thanks ryan)
These passages have brought some comfort and I believe they speak the truth, but that doesn't mean I don't have bad days. If my faith is only useful when times are good, then it's really nothing but a hollow shell.
Today I was cleaning up my palmpilot a little bit. I came across something that I must've written during some interminably boring meeting. It's a list of what I consider to be "Marks of Greatness",
1 Integrity
2 Ingenuity
3 Perseverence
4 Humility (teachable spirit?)
5 Devotion to a cause greater than themselves (JC)
6 Compassion
7 Imperfection
I suppose most of these are common sense. They are the characteristics I look for in someone whom I think will aspire to Greatness. They're also traits I try to cultivate in myself. Smack dab in the middle there is Perserverance. Well, it's easier said than done but I'm trying.
I'm on the edge of something and I guess I'll figure out what it is when I get there.
Yet my circumstances haven't changed one bit.
I've been struggling to develop a plan for what I'm going to do with the rest of my life - or at least the next few months of it. It all comes down to mastering my fear. Sometimes I can do that by looking logically at things and sometimes doing so only increases the fear. There are two bible passages that I've kept on my desk lately,
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phillipians 4:6-8
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6 (thanks ryan)
These passages have brought some comfort and I believe they speak the truth, but that doesn't mean I don't have bad days. If my faith is only useful when times are good, then it's really nothing but a hollow shell.
Today I was cleaning up my palmpilot a little bit. I came across something that I must've written during some interminably boring meeting. It's a list of what I consider to be "Marks of Greatness",
1 Integrity
2 Ingenuity
3 Perseverence
4 Humility (teachable spirit?)
5 Devotion to a cause greater than themselves (JC)
6 Compassion
7 Imperfection
I suppose most of these are common sense. They are the characteristics I look for in someone whom I think will aspire to Greatness. They're also traits I try to cultivate in myself. Smack dab in the middle there is Perserverance. Well, it's easier said than done but I'm trying.
I'm on the edge of something and I guess I'll figure out what it is when I get there.
This entry was posted
on Thursday, July 14, 2005 at 9:15 AM.
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