DOA

Wow! Has it really been that long?

2005-12-23T17:53:00.000-08:00

No posts here since October. Life moves pretty fast...oops I almost lapsed into a "Ferris Buehler's Day Off" quote. You see, what I lack in talent I can make up for with cliches.

A whole new job has brought about a certain disequilibrium that has made it difficult for me to post to this blog (or any other). It's not that I've run out of things to say. In fact, I'm writing little blog entries in my mind on a regular basis but by the time I get an opportunity to post them, poof! they're gone.

Just a little sampling from my "things I never found time to post" file,

Intelligent Design vs. Evolution:
The fact that evolutionists are so militantly over-zealous makes me distrust their theory. Whenever a group seems intent on shaping not only the facts but the very things people are allowed to think, red flags go up.

And for you creationists and/or intelligent design folks out there, stop using the method whereby you make all sorts of complex calculations and end up saying that according to probabilities there is no way that man evolved. What is the probability that I would be at this very moment doing what I'm doing? Very, very slim. Yet, here I am happily doing it.

The Patriot Act: For or Against?
I'm not sure the patriot act is such a good idea. For one thing, Judge Napolitano thinks the Patriot Act is bad and I respect his opinion. I don't trust government and the powers claimed by the Patriot Act make me a little queasy. At the end of the day, I'll grant that government needs some extra power to fight the GWOT. I just hope it ends up being worth it.

Liberal Bias:
It will continue until conservatives buy their own big time news networks and newspapers or take over the existing ones. In the meantime, the propaganda put out by the mainstream press is so virulent that it threatens the very core of our existence and the freedoms we enjoy.

The War On Christmas:
It's been going on for some time. It's usually referred to as a culture war. It goes on 365 days of the year. Really, it's more like the Battle Involving Christmas. Just one more example of a culture war that has been going on for some time now. The so-called War On Christmas seems more like something a guy on fox news keeps blathering about so he can sell his book by the same name.

I can't imagine anyone reads this blog on a regular basis since it would be such a spectacularly unrewarding experience. If you do, then imagine that I'm sticking my mug in the camera, grinning like an idiot and waving "Hi!".

Who knows? Maybe I'll start posting again on a regular basis...

A Cross To Bear

2005-10-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

Every person I've ever met, no matter how indestructable they seem on the outside, has a cross to bear; their own private pain and burden. Every one. I just found out that a guy I know was involved in a horrible car accident as a teenager. His best friend was killed and there's rarely a day that goes by that he doesn't think of him. I've known this guy for quite a while and it's only now that this pain surfaces.

It could be a horrible tragedy or some kind of heartbreak. It could be that he or she is unable to have children or has some type of debilitating illness. Understanding how someone deals with a particular burden helps to learn the nature of their character and what they truly believe. For some people, their burden has caused a sense of deep and abiding bitterness. For others, a gentleness that they never would've possessed otherwise.

Like everyone else, I have my own cross to bear. But I consider it light and inconsequential compared to the burdens of others. Thank God.

Apocalypse Now

2005-09-01T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not into hunting and my shooting skills are horrible so target shooting isn't exactly a thrill. Yet I got a FOID (Firearms Owners ID Card)a few years ago on the off chance that I'd want to get a gun someday. I haven't yet because there just didn't seem to be much use for one. Recent events have changed that perception.

In the aftermath of Katrina, I'm imagining a scenario that suddenly makes gun ownership more attractive. Here in Mayberry there isn't much risk of violence and it doesn't seem likely that any of my neighbors would want to cause me or my family any harm. But 80 or 90 miles away in Metropolis I'm quite sure there are people who meet that description.

Let's take a hypothetical scenario, say a terrorist explodes a dirty bomb in Central Metropolis. Maybe the bomb or even any radiation isn't enough to kill very many people but the event causes mass panic. When those people flee the city where are they going to go?

That's right. They're going to come to Mayberry or someplace like it. Since the people of Mayberry and surrounding areas are all pretty decent you can expect that there would be plenty of hospitality. However, if the influx of people became too great you might find conditions not unlike those that exist right now in The Big Easy. (For looters, the nickname of the LA city seems a little ironic.)

It's safe to say that those who are able to protect their homes are going to be much safer than those who aren't. I'm not a good aim but with a shotgun I don't necessarily need to be a good aim. In fact, prominent display of said gun would most likely mean I would never have to use it.

I bought a generator for the possibility of power outages during Y2K. I don't know how likely it is that I'll have to face down hordes of looters but I suspect that I'll start gun shopping soon. It never hurts to be prepared.

Little Brother

2005-08-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Attempts to Marshall the Forces of The Universe to Benefit a Family Member:

My "little" brother graduated from law school a little over a year ago. (Baylor University) Since then he's passed both the Illinois and Texas Bar exams. One thing has been missing though - a job.

Although he's very bright he isn't exactly a people person. He's painfully shy and isn't someone that people gravitate toward.

He has a job interview today at 2pm CST. If you're the praying type, I'd appreciate you keeping him in mind.

The Barter Economy

2005-08-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Describes Adventures in Car Buying:

As I drove up I could see him sitting there in the shade of the building. He was sitting in a lawn chair wearing black sunglasses. When young and/or vigorous people wear sunglasses they look cool, but when older folks wear them they just look like blind people. This guy looked like he had some miles on him and without any preventative maintenance. He looked like a white ray charles.

His handshake wasn't exactly firm and it was kind of clammy. I wanted to wipe my hand on my pants but I didn't. I didn't want to be rude.

He was really laid back as he showed us around the used car lot. I hate buying cars. I hate all the little games that go along with it. I hate the playacting, the mock outrage at the price offered, the whole "I'll have to run this by the manager" routine. So far, he had tried none of that and I appreciated it.

A few weeks earlier I had met a much younger salesperson at this dealership and he was a little annoying. He asked all kinds of personal questions and overused my first name. "So, Grouchy, why are you getting a new car? etc." I hate that.

I picked out a car I liked and we went for a test drive. He rode along and white knuckled it. Somehow, miraculously it would seem, I have a good driving record. But I also have a reputation for driving a little fast. When I was 16 and in drivers ed the instructor showed me the proper way to accelerate, like there was an egg between your foot and the pedal and you didn't want to break it. I think that was the first and last time I accelerated that way. So he did his best to not look nervous while I put the car through its paces.

Later, I came back with my wife and we drove another car. He sat in the back wheezing. After that first car, he decided to stay back at the dealership while we test drove. We drove a few more and I was on the horns of a dilemma. Either get a car with good gas mileage that costs a few thousand more or get a car with not so good gas mileage that I really like.

For the first fifteen years of my driving career I had several economy cars. My favorite was a 1977 Honda Accord. I would go out in the country and literally double the posted speed limit while going around curves. I went through a few tie rods with that car and I'm surprised my dad never gave me a hard time for that. It eventually rusted out pretty bad and one arctic cold January night I put it in a ditch pretty hard, spinning around a few times and barrelling in backwards. That was the end of my favorite car.

I haven't had to drive a small economy car now for quite a while. I've been spoiled and now when I drive one I feel a little bit like a schmuck.

It came down to a choice between a 2003 Honda Civic, a 2005 Pontiac Sunbird, or a 2003 Grand Am GT. I made an offer on the GT. It's red and has a sunroof. It's also cheaper than the honda.

When negotiating a deal you have to be willing to walk away. If you aren't then you shouldn't be negotiating. I'm willing to walk away, but I would really love to wrap this up and buy the car. I made a low offer and the salesman played his part of acting shocked. He made a counteroffer and now it's my turn to act like I'm not really all that interested in buying the car. I won't go any more than 12k on it so we'll see how this plays out. Let the games begin.

By the way, if you're looking for a great guide to buying a car check out Froggy's post, Buying The Frogmobile.

Job Woes

2005-08-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Summarizes A Summer Full of Job Woe:

If you've visited this blog before you've probably read all about my job woes. Well, I'm happy to report that I have none at the moment.

A week or two ago, I was offered a job someplace else. Before I could fully make the decision to leave, my boss, aka The Dark Lord wanted to meet with me. Instead of addressing the concerns I had, he proceeded to lie to me about some things. The meeting ended amicably but my mind was made up, I was out of there.

A week ago Friday I dropped in to see my boss and give him my resignation. He had unexpectantly taken the day off to go fishing. I'm sure one of his minions called to tell him, but I didn't hear back from him until the next Tuesday when he wanted to meet. By that time he had processed my affront to his pride and had gone into Face Saving Mode. Face Saving Mode is when an employer (or employee) knows the die has already been cast and the best thing to do is to be really nice so nothing comes back on you later.

The Dark Lord and I discussed a transition plan so no one would be left up in the air by my impending departure. He was gracious and had good reason to be. At that point it would be nearly impossible to fire me without some serious legal implications and then if I was an unprinicipled person I could wreak havoc on several aspects of the company's operations. Ironically, only a day before I resigned he publicly praised me and the work I had been doing in front of literally half the company. For him, it was flattery designed to influence me to overlook his crappy treatment of me in the not too distant past. For me, it was a way to go out on a good note within the company and it made it that much harder for him to seek any public retribution.

Monday I'll be in the final week of working for The Dark Lord and his servants. I'm tired of working for a hollow man and I'm thrilled to be finally moving on.

I'm sure there will be plenty of challenges in the new job. I'm used to challenges and I'm used to overcoming them. Contrary to what you might think by reading my posts this summer, I'm not thin skinned. In the past, at this job and the few others I've held in my life, I'm used to being successful and not used to being the scapegoat. If I would've had the desire or energy I'm sure I could've stayed and ultimately been able to experience some triumph.

But I didn't have the desire or energy. I have long since failed to believe in my boss as the leader I'd hoped he would be and I have no desire to become a hollow man myself. It's possible that I could end up working for yet another hollow man. In that case I'll do the best I can and trust God for the results.

I start my new job in two weeks.

Grouchy Male

2005-08-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

I used to think men and women were more or less the same. Then I had daughters. The longer I live in this house with three women, my wife and our two teenage daughters, the more I am convinced that women are an alien species. They are an attractive alien species but aliens nonetheless.

With all these women around me there's always constant jabbering. Every issue requires a seemingly endless amount of gabbing. I've never done so before and I hope I never will but sometimes I want to shout, "STFU!" at the top of my voice. Not everything requires dialog.

Then there's the "injuries". When I was growing up, my dad would say "shake it off". He'd look at it for a second to make sure there weren't any broken bones, then everyone would go about their business. With girls, anytime one of them gets the slightest bit injured you'd think it was a major medical issue.

When my brother and I disagreed about something a fist fight ensued. Being the oldest that meant that I usually beat the crap out of my brother. If I overdid it he would go crying to my parents and I would be in trouble. Otherwise, we got up dusted each other off and resumed our activity.

With the girls, it's constant bickering. It's impossible to break it up and it can go on for hours. No amount of threatening seems to work. Someone always has to sneak in just one last word or dirty look.

Perhaps I'm a little grouchy today. Nah, it couldn't be me.

The Drought of 2005

2005-08-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Starts To Feel Like A Real Person Again Instead of A Miserable Sniveling Failure:

There was a drought here in Mayberry this Summer. Last year was almost a perfect season for corn or soybeans, the main crop. The thermometer broke 90 degrees only once, but this year it's gone that direction on many occasions. It's been what I like to call a California Summer. A lot of hot weather, not much humidity and almost no rain. Midwestern Summers aren't supposed to be this way.

There's been a drought in my personal life too, but thankfully it appears to be over. What a long dry Summer it's been. I learned a few things though.

I got a nice refresher course on the importance of faith - I mean real faith - believing when you don't have much hope, when your mind bends logic in the wrong direction, and when you can't think beyond your own pitiful circumstance. Not that I have any extra faith. It turns out that I have just enough to make it through. I've been through much worse times than this and fortunately God only thought I'd need a short refresher course.

I learned the importance of communicating with my wife. Typically, I'm a little on the secretive side. It's not that I intend to withhold things just that it doesn't even occur to me to talk about them. I decided right at the beginning that I was going to have to talk about things with her and I did. She was very supportive. I'm even a little ashamed to say it but since this is an anonymous blog (ha!) I believe I even got some extra special sexual favors as a result of being pathetic. Hey, after being married for this long I'll take anything I can get.

I learned the importance of friends, both near and far. There have been many people praying for me and I know that's made all the difference. Thank-You! Again - sharing actual needs doesn't come naturally to me, but it made a world of difference to realize there was someone out there interceding on my behalf.

I resolved a logical dilemma in regard to God and the nature of how he works. If you go back several posts you'll see me theorizing about a God that isn't involved in the daily lives of those he loves. I've decided that I think he is though, just not in the way I would like. God is not my short order cook. It's called Providence and there's a mystery to it that I'm too tired to get into right here. What really convinced me was reading some Psalms - more on that another time.

Thank you God for getting me through the drought. Please bless my work and help it to bring glory to you. Thank you for your loving kindness and mercy.

Normally, this would be the point where I'd sing the Doxology, you know, Praise God from whom all blessings flow...". But since this is merely a blog I won't worry about it.

Thank God the drought is over.

In The Red Zone

2005-08-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

A year or so ago I read a book called, In The Red Zone. Usually when I read a piece of non-fiction and enjoy it I like to look up the author on the web. In this case, I found a blog written by the author, also called, In The Red Zone.

Now I find out that this author, Steven Vincent, was killed in Iraq.

The Iraq War has taken many good men including the journalist Michael Kelly who wrote, Things Worth Fighting For.

Lately, I've been following the blog of Michael Yon who wrote yet another book in my library, Danger Close.

Although I've known none of these guys there's still this weird feeling of loss. Reading their blogs and their books gave me the illusion that I knew them. They'll be missed. And let's hope that Michael Yon keeps himself safe. I'm looking forward to his next book.

The Siren Sound

2005-08-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Procrastinates Doing Any Real Work by Philosophizing About His Narcissistic Little World:

The Dark Lord Himself just called and wants to "touch base" with me. It could only mean one thing...he sensed a disturbance in the force.

He's going to be extremely charming and minimize all the crap that's happened over the past 6-9 months, most of it his doing. He's going to offer, if nothing tangible, then at least the hope of some greater tangible reward in the future.

I'll most likely end up being way too honest with him. I'll probably tell him that I'm getting ready to push the button that sends him into the metaphorical dunk tank in my mind. Nothing will change, but he'll want it to appear as if everything's hunky dory.

But will I have any guts? Will I have the guts to lay out for him just exactly why it is that I'm dissatisfied? He isn't used to hearing the honest truth from his minions. I'm known as someone who tells him the truth -- but only when I choose to do so. Yes, I've been guilty on many occasions of just saying nothing. And I'm not so sure I should be forthcoming here. There is such a thing as a survival instinct and it has saved my career on several occasions. Do I want to give a potential adversary foreknowledge of my actions? I don't know.

Although I try to be the kind of Christian that I should, I have to admit that I didn't get to be in my current position by being naive or stupid. I've out maneuvered people on several occasions. My all-time favorite tactic is the fait accompli - I like to have things done before the other person even finds out about it and once they do it's just easier for them to accept the situation. I'm not much of a bluffer and I'm not that great at being a suck-up but I can be fairly sneaky. I like to think of the fait accompli as a type of flanking maneuver. On several occasions my wife and I have had discussions about when manipulation of other people becomes morally wrong vs simply a part of a continuum that includes motivating others and leading them. The bottom line - I guess I'll play it by ear. I've witnessed the treachery that the Dark Lord can produce and I need to remember that his number one priority - far above anyone else is Numero Uno - himself.

It turns out that one of the guys who knows a lot about my duties quit yesterday leaving only me at the leadership level and a relatively low level Slacker-type employee walking around with some pretty valuable knowledge. Not that I'm indispenable. No one is that important. But navigating through my knowledge base without me would definitely take more money in the form of consultants or vendors.

In a few weeks he will have had time to hire a new person or two and a few weeks after that the new hires will have the bare necessities needed to plug the gaps. At that point, my value declines dramatically.

So if you happen upon this blog sometime before 3:30 cst and you're the praying type, keep me in mind. It should be interesting.

Expendable?

2005-08-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know that I'm looking for another job. My current boss, whom I frequently refer to as The Dark Lord, has been increasingly difficult. I've been employed by him for a long time (10+ years) and in fact hold a senior leadership position. During the course of time I've seen the focus and priorities change in a negative way. I'm happy to say that I haven't changed with it and that's a part of why I feel like I'm on the outside looking in even though I'm part of "the family".

I'm happy to report that today I received a job offer. It's in a slightly different career field but it's something I've always wanted to do and something that I'll be good at doing. Unfortunately, they didn't offer as much money as I'd like. The difference between what I'm making now and what they're offering is about $10,000.

As a result, I'm grappling with some decisions. To wit: Is this a lowball offer that I should seek to negotiate up? Or as the FNG is this just the price of switching careers and starting at a different spot in the company? Or...should I continue looking?

There really isn't any consideration to just staying put. I can live on what the potential new job is offering so I can leave either way but I don't want to live on dramatically less pay than necessary. I'm ready to leave the Dark Lord and His Kingdom once and for all. I'm glad to get an offer...but why does life have to be so complicated?

Even with all of the complications, it's nice to know that for once my boss is expendable and it's not just me. I'll be firing him soon and moving on to greener (hopefully) pastures.

Whats on My Shuffle?

2005-08-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

In Which GN tries not to think about when he might get a job offer (maybe today?),

I received an Apple Shuffle for Christmas. It isn't as famous as the iPod but it's essentially the same thing only in a much smaller package and without a screen. Mine will hold a little over 100 songs - more than enough for me.

Over the weekend, I was browsing the Apple iTunes store (DRM is un-american and I hate it but I'm a music junkie.) and I came across the "playlists" of various celebrities. It's interesting to read although I suspect the songs listed aren't really on the celebrity's playlists. Instead, they are songs the celebrity wants people to think are on their playlist.

Since I've been trying really hard not to think about the fact that I might get a nice job offer today or tomorrow, I thought I would share what's on my Shuffle at the moment. (Yes, this is really what's on my shuffle.)

What's on my shuffle?

Beverly Hills, Weezer - These guys are geeks, but they're geeks who rock.

Let's Roll, Neil Young - IMHO the best 9/11 inspired song of them all. From the lyrics for the song,
No one has the answer but one thing is true
You got to turn on evil when it's coming after you
You gotta face it down and when it tries to hide
We gotta go in after it and never be denied.

Some other Neil Young stuff, mostly from the CD, Harvest Moon.

Various Jars of Clay songs including,
Blind, Like A Child,
I'm Alright and Faith Enough.

Molly Hatchet, Flirtin' With Disaster - Reminds me of high school and it's a great rock and roll song.

Jack Johnson, Waiting, Hoping, Wishing - I never heard of this guy before I saw his video but I've downloaded a couple of his songs and I'm thinking of buying the whole cd. The video for this song is one of the coolest I've seen in a long time and it's here

Various Styx songs including,
Blue Collar Man, Renegade, Mr Roboto, Don't Let It End, and Too Much Time on My Hands

Various U2 songs including, 4th of July, Homecoming, Where the Streets Have No Name, Mysterious Ways, and Numb

Various Tom Petty songs including,
American Girl, Running Down A Dream, Free Fallin', All The Wrong Reasons, Don't Come Around Here, and Honeybee

Various Switchfoot songs including, Company Car, There's Gotta Be Something More, More Than Just Okay, and a single released off their upcoming album due to be released in September. The single is called Stars and I like it.

I'm not sure if the song selection reveals anything about me. I guess you could gather that I'm a middle-aged guy from most of the selections and that I also have a fairly wide variety of music tastes. (no rap though) I'll leave any other speculation up to the bored readers of this blog.

Over There

2005-07-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

Watched Over There last night on FX. So far no one else has touched the Iraq War cinematically so how this first foray does will either encourage or discourage others.

I would have to give the show a B-. Of course, my liberal bias detector was turned on and it's sensitivity was cranked up to 10. The meter registered only about a 1 or 2.

The production values were good. In other words, the show looks really good. It looks like Iraq, complete with the great sunsets. But this isn't a show for the kids. Besides the graphic depictions of people having sex - not R rated but if you're watching it with your 13 yr old daughter you would feel uncomfortable. (I hope.) The language is pretty bad too. I expect that from any show featuring soldiers but I don't necessarily want my kids watching it.

I would've given the show a better grade but some of the plot is just a little contrived for my taste. For example, they figured out a way to feature woman soldiers and of course they are in a situation where it isn't practical to take them off the front line. Then one of the women gets a close call with one of the hadji's shooting at her at close range. You guessed it - he missed.

Then there's the guy who loves the Army and is nice to everyone as well as intelligent and sensitive. You just knew he was going to get whacked or get some horrific injury. (Note to TV Show producers: Just for once have the jerk that no one likes get the horrific injury.)

The show seemed to go out of it's way to shock people. There were a couple of shocking sights of carnage and an interesting one where a guy gets blown in half and his legs take an extra step or two. The desire to shock and the contrived plot undermined the show, but I still found it entertaining. Also, I have to admit, whether it's realistic or not, I still want to see some jingoistic American Patriotism. I want to see red-blooded Americans fighting for truth, justice and the American way.

I'll tune in next week and we'll see if it can rise above it's B- opening. It ain't Blackhawk Down but it'll do for now.

Words and Their Consequences

2005-07-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Reveals How Little It takes to Produce Excitement in his Life:

Prior to becoming the blogger known as Grouchy Neocon, I was blogging more or less under my own identity. But that was quite some time ago...

About three weeks ago I received a call from a guy whom I shall refer to as Mr. X. Since I also happened to be casting about for a new job at that time, (and I still am) I was kind of excited about the call. Unfortunately, the guy didn't leave his phone number. He called again a week later and still didn't leave his number. Finally, after a few weeks he left two phone numbers.

I called the number and received a voicemail but the announcement didn't say the name of the person or the name of the company. Very suspicious.

I suspected some sort of telemarketer or aggressive sales type and promptly forgot about it.
Until last night when I received a message on the home answering machine. This time the guy said the name of his company. It turns out he doesn't work for a company. He works for the US Govt. and not just any branch of the US Govt. He works for Military Intelligence.

This is pretty exciting stuff. For some odd reason, probably having to do with some weird male need to be macho, I love military stuff and know far more about it than is normal for someone not actually in the military.

I was dying to find out what this guy wanted, but now that I wanted to talk to him he wasn't answering his phone. I had to wait until this morning to find out.

He was looking into some posts made on my former blog about some force protection procedures for military units overseas. He was especially interested in what a few of the commenters were saying. Apparently someone said too much and they were looking for that person.

I'm patriotic in the extreme. My pseudonym is "neocon" so I guess that would be a tip-off. Anyway, I offered to provide whatever information they wanted.

I'm a little disturbed by the fact that they are trolling blogs looking for secrets when there are probably a lot worse people to be rounded up, but that really isn't any of my business. For whomever they are after, words will have some consequences.

Return of The Dark Lord

2005-07-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Dreads The Return of The Dark Lord:

The Dark Lord has convened a council of his minions tomorrow. He's back from vacation and I suspect he misses that feeling of being "King" over all he surveys. The Dark Lord loves nothing more than to be surrounded by his minions as they fawn over him, laugh hilariously at his jokes, hang on his every word and generally kiss his rear end. His minions, myself included, dread these little councils. Typically they are held once a month and everyone was counting on this one being cancelled due to the aforementioned vacation.

This is definitely not the highlight of my week. Ever since last month's meeting I've been vowing that I want to never attend another one again. With the prospect of August's meeting being cancelled I thought I had until the latter part of September to make that vow become a reality. In fact, ever since the Dark Lord left on his vacation I've been plotting against him, or at least plotting my escape from The Firm. In the Dark Lord's eyes, anyone daring to move on to other employment is a traitor, not only to the company but to him personally.

I knew I would end up facing him again sooner or later. (I just hoped it would be later.) If I get the opportunity I plan on telling him of my plans to leave, albeit under good terms. Still, it's difficult to predict the reaction I might get. The possible reactions range anywhere from having to clean out my desk that minute to offers of additional money and anything in between. The Dark Lord loves being in control more than anything. He knows he can get control in one of several ways and isn't hesitant to use whatever approach he deems best.

My real fear is that he'll say some jackass thing that reveals once again the depth of his arrogance and disregard for anyone but himself and I'll fly off the handle. My anger toward the Dark Lord has been increasing for quite some time. Letting loose with some choice names or way too honest opinions would be a disaster. For one thing, I could then be without a job. At the very least, I'm sure I would feel embarrased later and The Dark Lord would know he is totally in control. It's even conceivable, although highly unlikely, that I would decide to physically bash the Dark Lord's face into a bloody pulp. That would definitely not be a career builder.

If you're the praying sort, I would appreciate if you'd remember me in my struggle and especially tomorrow morning. I want to be wise in what I say and do. I want to be honest but in an assertive way that doesn't cause me to appear un-reasonable. I also want to represent myself and my beliefs in a way that brings honor to my family and my God.

I have a job interview on Friday and I really hope that goes well because it's past time for me to move on.

Standing on The Edge

2005-07-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm standing on the edge...of something. Yesterday I felt like I was standing on the edge of a precipice about to tumble to the depths below. I spent the day alternating between feeling sorry for myself, feeling angry at my situation and just plain depressed. Today I feel oddly optimistic, like the edge that I'm standing on is really the verge of something great.

Yet my circumstances haven't changed one bit.

I've been struggling to develop a plan for what I'm going to do with the rest of my life - or at least the next few months of it. It all comes down to mastering my fear. Sometimes I can do that by looking logically at things and sometimes doing so only increases the fear. There are two bible passages that I've kept on my desk lately,

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phillipians 4:6-8

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6 (thanks ryan)

These passages have brought some comfort and I believe they speak the truth, but that doesn't mean I don't have bad days. If my faith is only useful when times are good, then it's really nothing but a hollow shell.

Today I was cleaning up my palmpilot a little bit. I came across something that I must've written during some interminably boring meeting. It's a list of what I consider to be "Marks of Greatness",
1 Integrity
2 Ingenuity
3 Perseverence
4 Humility (teachable spirit?)
5 Devotion to a cause greater than themselves (JC)
6 Compassion
7 Imperfection

I suppose most of these are common sense. They are the characteristics I look for in someone whom I think will aspire to Greatness. They're also traits I try to cultivate in myself. Smack dab in the middle there is Perserverance. Well, it's easier said than done but I'm trying.

I'm on the edge of something and I guess I'll figure out what it is when I get there.

The Man Hug

2005-07-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

I came across an article titled, Men Hugging More But Rules Aren't Clearly Defined. It goes into all of the subtleties of men hugging. It even discusses the "hip-hop hug". It also gets into a sort of quasi hug where you shake the guy's hand and give him a pat on the back at the same time.

The types of hugs identified:

The Hip-Hop

Guys greet with handshakes of various styles, pull themselves in toward each other, then bump their inside shoulders.

The Half-and-Half

Guys greet each other with standard handshakes, then reach around each other's shoulders with their left arms and pat each other's backs.

The Bear

Guys dispense with handshakes altogether. When they greet, the left arm drapes over the partner's right shoulder; the right arm goes around the waist. The left hand usually pats the partner's back.

The article speculates that men afraid of hugging are homophobic.

I must be a really enlightened guy. Not because I'm out hugging everyone but because I have a gender neutral policy toward hugs. My policy is this, immediate family members get hugs - everyone else; men, women, girls, boys, etc.. get nothing. To be really honest, I'm a little hesitant about even hand shakes sometimes.

If you want to Hip-Hop Hug one of your peeps, your boyz or your homeys that's okay with me just don't feel like you need to get me involved.

No Place Like Home

2005-07-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

I spent most of yesterday with the church youth group. We went to Inner Metropolis to pass out bag lunches to homeless people.

When I first heard about this project I wasn't too thrilled. I tend to view the vast majority of homeless people as those who have a serious mental health issue, an alcohol and/or drug addiction, or as free-loaders who want to scam the system. Also, I didn't think they would appreciate the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Like many people, I've had it with left-wing types who think I should subsidize everyone's lifestyle choice regardless of how harmful it is to the individual or to society.

Well, I still think that most homeless people have chosen their lifestyle and I don't necessarily feel any strong desire to help them, but then I'm confronted by the fact that my faith says I should help those in need. It also says to love one another.

The homeless people seemed genuinely thankful for the bag lunches. No one preached to them. No one cast judgement on them. We just looked them in the eye, offered them lunch and spent a few minutes speaking and listening to them. I suspect we got more out of the whole thing than they did.

I don't have to agree with their lifestyle choice but I am expected to show them love and compassion. It was a really good day.

Faith, Blogs and George Washington

2005-07-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

So there I was, working like a busy little beaver. I was typing away at something when I thought, "hmm...better check my email then it's back to work." I checked and saw a message from someone I haven't heard from in a while. He recommended, this blog so I checked it out... 45 minutes later and I haven't gotten back to work yet. (Try it for yourself, but on your own time not the company's.)

The Dark Lord requires constant service whilst thou is in his employ - or something like that. Besides, my protestant work ethic is really kicking into overdrive right now so I'll probably be compelled in a few short minutes to not only get back to work, but to work faster to make up for the time spent procrastinating. It's the same little internal force that helps me to keep the lawn mowed to a reasonable height and not to park junky cars on the front lawn.

I guess it's a good thing.

I just finished reading 1776. It's pretty interesting but if you don't have time to wade through it I can give you the short version. George Washington basically got his butt kicked by the British for most of the year and then right at the end of the year he managed a small victory over some Hessians at Trenton. That small victory ended up being a much larger PR victory and the rest, as they say, is history.

In a few short weeks I'm getting ready to cut myself loose from The Firm and its Dark Lord. I don't have another job yet so I'm going to be done buying books for a while. I'm also going to have to forgo a lot of other nifty little pleasures that the employed get to enjoy; things like health insurance and food.

I'm really scrambling right now to find some other type of gainful employment. There are a few possibilities but mostly it's going to be a white-knuckle summer.

I've been told that you're not supposed to test God, but I was doing just that the other day. I said to myself something like, "God, let's see how much you really care about me. I'll do my best to get another job, but I'm really hoping that you bless those efforts. If not, well, I'll still believe because there is just no realistic alternative, but I'll be pretty discouraged." (When you're dealing with God it's not like you can threaten to do anything. He holds all the cards.)

The Wife has faith, both in me and in God. I'm really hoping that neither of us lets her down.

Back to work!

The Absence of Magic

2005-07-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

In Which GN Ponders the Mechanistic Nature of The Universe:

Observation of the world around me tells me a couple of things. First of all, whoever created (presumably God) all this is pretty amazing. I think it takes a monumental act of faith to believe that it all just evolved without any kind of higher being. Secondly, this world runs almost exclusively according to natural laws set in motion at the beginning of time.

Drop a cup and it will fall to the ground 100% of the time. Step out in front of a speeding semi truck and you'll end up dead 100% of the time. The Bible states the importance of natural laws when it points out that what a man sows he will reap. It states the same type of thing, in various ways, throughout the book.

But the Bible says some other things too. It tells us to "pray without ceasing". It tells us to have faith that through the resurrection God will disrupt natural laws. It also tells us to seek His will and guidance in our decisions. But if we are to seek His will, if prayer changes things, what happens to those natural laws?

I've come to the conclusion that God doesn't give a shit about where I work, where I live, what kind of car I drive or any of that situational stuff. He doesn't care about what I am but who I am.

There are some implications to holding this type of view. If this view of God is true, then we ought to stop seeking His will for specific situations. If we are engaged in the process of sanctification - striving to be who he wants us to be - then we should feel free to do anything that is in our minds to do. Of course, His general will for us still holds true. For example, we aren't free to murder our next door neighbor so we can marry his wife.

We can stop worrying about His specific will for us and work instead on being who he wants us to be. We can stop expecting that he'll help us out of a bad situation since he's more interested in how it develops our character than in addressing it. We can stop searching for signs that tell us that God wants us to do such and such and instead work on achieving it in the real world with the skills and gifts given to us.

You might say, "The bible gives numerous instances where God intervened in the natural order of things to work His will. How can you say He doesn't do so now?"

I imagine that God does work supernaturally in this day and age, but it appears to be a very rare event. One of the things that makes the Bible so special is that it is the story of exceptional events. It was specifically written to tell us of supernatural events throughout history, but that doesn't mean those types of events are the norm.

There are some problems with this view of God though. What happens to a "personal relationship" with Jesus when it seems that He holds the world (and you) at arms length? Where does prayer fit into this whole thing? If natural laws hold sway, is there really such a thing as providence?

Needless to say, I'm feeling very discouraged right now and it's possible my thinking is being influenced by my feelings. It's possible that God is much more active than I give him credit. There's someplace in the Bible that talks about how his eye is on the sparrow. Well, I've seen plenty of sparrows get hit by cars. If God is really all that active and involved in the world outside of those natural laws He's established, then I'm not seeing it.

I'd love to be wrong about this, but I can't see any other logical way to explain it. If you can prove to me otherwise, then go for it... I dare you. In fact, I double dog dare you.

Make Believe for Fun and Profit

2005-06-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

In Which Grouchy Neocon opines about business fads:

Met with the Dark Lord today. Other than our discussion of Total World Domination and how I can accomplish that before my next review, nothing very interesting happened. However, it reminded me of something that's been bugging me...

For quite some time now the Dark Lord has been preaching the virtues of the latest business book he read. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but business books are a dime a dozen. If the advice given in them is really all that great then why isn't the author out doing things the way he recommends in the book? Possibly, the authors of these books just want to share their knowledge for the good of all mankind. Or it could be that everyone has an opinion and for every opinion there is yet another book on business and yet another author who wants to write a bestseller and retire.

Not that all of these books are bad. Right now, I've got this book sitting at home waiting to be read. It looks interesting but I doubt it will change my life. It probably won't change anything.

The reason for this is simple. Consciously or not, I'm only attracted to those books that coincide with my worldview. (or at least my view of business) Like most people, I enjoy reading things that reinforce my existing biases. Even though I try to be open-minded, it's really difficult for anyone to honestly do so.

Which brings me back to The Dark Lord. He's proclaimed that the concepts presented in the book are holy writ. The way we do things at our company from this day forward. He wants us to have our employees read this book. He wants us to preach it's merits at staff meetings and to develop activities which reinforce it's concepts. He reassures us that this book is no mere fad but a new and different way of doing things!

On a regular basis we've been asked to report on our progress in regard to prosyletizing this book. My peers dutifully talk about all the different activities in which they've engaged. All fine and good. Except my peers are lying like the scum sucking lapdogs that they are. In reality, no one is doing anything any different than before. More than just a cursory conversation with those employees reveals that all of these spiffy activities are merely vapor. At best any changes are window dressing on activities that would've occured otherwise.

No one is doing anything any differently including the Dark Lord. I imagine he convinces himself that he is, but it isn't so. He's using the contents of the book in order to reinforce his perfectionistic tendencies. He wants to squeeze just a little more juice out of this orange that is his company.

I haven't named the book because this is an anonymous blog and the exact title is unimportant. It's actually a fairly good read and the concepts presented seem sound to me. I suspect, though, that anyone who agrees with the book is already doing the things it recommends or something not too different.

I suppose I'll have to spend some time inventing my own little activities as part of this whole charade. I enjoy receiving a paycheck and I don't want to rock the boat. (Boat rockers don't last very long.) Right now, I'm wondering if this is how the people who work for Kim Il Sung feel. (On a grander scale and with more severe consequences for failure to follow the party line.)

I hate having to play make believe so the emperor won't realize he isn't wearing any clothes. This is exactly the sort of thing that gave me nightmares in my 20's. Yes, that's me, a corporate sellout. Reminds me of that commercial from monster.com that has little kids saying things like, "I want to be a paper pusher when I grow up."

Enough whining for now.

Moving Mountains

2005-06-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

If a man's imagination doesn't even begin to stretch the limits of God's creativity, then anything that can be imagined can in fact occur; time travel, manipulation of the physical environment with conscious thought - even life after death.

Lying on my back in a moonlit field near our house, feeling the soft breeze as it rustles through the cornfields, it isn't difficult to imagine.

Running with The Cows

2005-06-15T19:59:00.000-07:00

I would never walk across an empty parking lot late at night. I tend to cross streets away from the corner instead of right at the corner. I walk on the left hand side of the street so I can see oncoming traffic and if a car full of punks pulls up to give me trouble, well, at least one or two of them better be ready to go to the hospital.

Not matter how hard I try I'll always be a city boy.

But here in Mayberry there aren't any savage gangs roving the streets. It's unlikely anyone would try to run me down in the middle of a parking lot and there isn't much traffic late at night.

As far as I'm concerned, it's the perfect time for running. That's right running. You know, jogging. Up until this point in my life I've had three rules that I set for myself: 1. Never tell anyone my IQ. 2. Never tell anyone how much money I make. and 3. Never ever go jogging. Recent events have convinced me to reconsider #3.

There's this guy I know who lives a few blocks from me. In the evenings I often see him jogging. He was never horribly fat or anything to begin with, but like me, he had a little bit of a belly problem. He doesn't have it now. He looks great and when I spoke to him about it he told me he's lost 40 lbs. running 3-5 mi most evenings. Then there's this other guy I know. He lives out in the desert somewhere near LA. He's shown me how jogging can become a metaphor for life. It seems to have helped him to feel more in control of his life and maybe even a little more confident.

So if you stop by Mayberry on one of these pleasant summer evenings and you see a jogger who looks just a little too paranoid, it's me getting skinny and confident.

Paddling Big Muddy

2005-06-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

I had to drive out to the hinterlands the other day on an errand for the dark lord. On the way out there, I conjured up an idea... here's how it goes:

I quit my job then my dog and I take a kayak and paddle it the length of the Mississippi River. Along the way we take pictures and write thought-provoking and history laden text that we sell in a book at the end of the trip. I would research most of the places we'd stop beforehand so we'd know where to stop and be able to work in all that knowledge. For instance, near our starting point in Minnesota we could talk to Chippewa Indians about their ancestors relationship to the river and the way the French fur trappers changed it. In St. Louis we could talk about the founding of the city, how it changed hands as the French, then the Spanish, then the French again and finally the Americans claimed it. We could stop in Cairo and make some socially responsible comments about the poverty the people there face. There's tons of material available for this book along the way.

I'm guessing the trip would take about three months. Most of the book would be written by the end of the trip as I would write about the day's experiences nearly every evening on a laptop. After the trip I would have some editing to do then, voila! a bestseller. Then we'd go back later with PBS and do a documentary -- they eat that kind of stuff up.

I only have a few small problems to work out. First of all I've never been in a kayak in my life. (How hard could it be?) Secondly, I doubt I have enough money to live for three months without a job. Possibly, the wife could support me but that's a little bit of a gamble. The dog has never been in a kayak but I'm certain she'd adjust.

Later on, after I arrived home from my road trip I thought about it. Three months living in a kayak and sleeping on muddy river banks. Well, it would be an adventure.

Personal Mantras

2005-06-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

You love the things you pay attention to."
* -- Dirk Knemeyer's poetry teacher

Hmmm...and this blog is called deficit of attention.

It's from Personal Mantras and it's kind of interesting.

Just Enough

2005-06-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

To many people it comes naturally. They examine something then decide to believe it and that settles it for them. They never doubt again.

I'm not one of those people. There are times when I find myself thinking that Religion is nothing more than a vast rationalization projected onto a non-existent God. It seems like there's a complex reason complete with circular logic for everything connected with religious belief. For example, God claims to answer my prayer - yet he obviously didn't. The explanation: God did answer your prayer - he just said "no" or "not yet". Or another example, Why did X happen? The explanation: It wasn't God's will. How do we know it was God's will? Only after the fact.

Let's look at a few other things. Supposedly God created everything and evolution didn't happen. Yet, would someone tell me what is the purpose for body hair? Surely, it can't be to keep us warm. Could it be a remnant of our evolutionary ancestry?

Keep in mind that I'm not a skeptic, but a true believer. But I'm a true believer with a brain and a mind that doubts everything. I'm not sure why. When someone tells me something my first instinct is to disbelieve it unless I see it for myself. In fact, in my mind I have a category for those kind of things. When I'm told something I put it into a little category in my mind that I like to call "Provisional Truth". That is, I'll act as if it were true for now but I won't truly believe it until I see or experience it for myself.

From time to time, I have to force myself to re-examine my faith. Is the bible trustworthy? And I have to remind myself that God isn't a short-order cook, willing to just whip something up for me at a moment's notice. God is not tame. Instead he's sovereign and knows that best plans for me and everyone else.

Of course, there are still some things that trouble me about my beliefs but I haven't found an alternative that comes even remotely close to being as believable. I have a real problem with people who cherry-pick the Bible, keeping what they like and throwing out things that are too inconvenient to believe or are otherwise problematic. (On a side note, it seems odd to me that some so-called religious people vigourously point to the Bible to justify their pacifist inclinations, but are also the ones most likely to deny that Jesus is the only way to salvation. Jesus clearly says this and yet these progressives choose to ignore this and focus on the passages that seem to justify moral cowardice in the face of evil with the hope of keeping the peace.)

When I run into crises in my personal life, I'm not one of those people who report feeling an overwhelming sense of peace or comfort because of my faith. At first, I question God and feel very much like the Israelites must've felt as they wandered the wilderness after escaping Egypt. They asked God why He led them out of slavery only to let them starve to death in the desert. I feel the same exact way.

Yet I try to remember Galatians 6:9 which says not to grow weary of doing good and not to give up. Also, I try to remember Hebrews 3:7-15 which warns of the sin of unbelief and offers hope for the future. I have to tell myself that my faith is bigger than my job situation. It's bigger than my self-centered thoughts and desires. I have faith. It isn't perfect, but I have just enough of it to make it through the day. I guess that's the best I can expect.

Something More

2005-06-07T18:08:00.000-07:00

In Which Grouchy Neocon whines about his job situation:

I'm tired of dealing with a bloated bureaucracy, tired of dealing with a President that thinks he's a king. I'm not referring to the US Govt but to my employer. I haven't been happy with my employer for quite some time now and things have come to a point where I'm aggressively searching for a new job.

Not that I have a horrible life. By many standards, my job is better than many people could ever hope. But I know I'm capable of more and that it's time to see what else is out there for me.

That's one reason for the dearth of posts here. I've just been too darn depressed to think about blogging.

The place where I work is dominated by it's founder. He's someone who has made some very smart business moves and built the company from the ground up. But his identity is inseparable from that of the company which makes for some real problems. As a result, nothing is a good idea unless you can convince him that he thought of it. No one is allowed to excel to the point where it would cast any shadows on this guy. He's almost literally king of his domain and the company exists to serve him and him alone.

As the head of the company, he's entitled to make whatever decisions he deems necessary. He deserves respect because of his position even though "it's all about him" and satisfying his massive ego. Supervision with him consists of an hour or two of him second guessing your every move and stating the obvious as if he were discovering the cure to cancer. For example, we need more business so the answer is, "just go out and sell it...our competitors put their pants on the same way as us every morning..." No kidding. You think there might be a reason we aren't selling this stuff? Maybe it's because we aren't willing to invest in the product so it's at least up to speed with the competitor. But for him, it's much easier to crack the whip and accuse people of not working hard enough.

So I've been searching desperately for another job. Unfortunately, I'm one of those guys that does a lot of things really well and not someone who is very tightly specialized and therefore, able to drop right into a position advertised someplace.
It all comes down to who knows who and I'm woefully deficient in that regard.

I know a lot of people have it much worse. At least I have a job and one that pays pretty decent too. My options seem pretty limited at this point. It's either go to work for some corporation or figure out a way to get into my own business. Working for "the man" or being the man. Right now, I'd settle for either.

I've had several instances lately where I want to tell Mr. President to f* off. I want to tell him that he's one of the most arrogant assholes I've ever met in my life. But I won't. Instead I'll search for something else and hopefully I'll find it soon. Otherwise, it could be a long hot summer.

On Being A Jedi

2005-05-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

I want to free the oppressed. I want to take on a whole bunch of bad guys with only a light saber and kill every one of them. I want to feel transcendant. I want to wear cool looking outfits and be part of an elite society of thinking warriors. I want to go to the new Star Wars movie, ASAP.

In The Name of Something

2005-05-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

Few things tick me off more than people who claim to be Christians and in the name of God promote pacificism. It's common sense to me that if my "neighbor" is being attacked that it is not only just for me to intervene but it is my moral duty. To not do so is to become complicit in the injustice. (No, this doesn't mean we should go to war against every despot in the world or that we shouldn't try peaceful and diplomatic means first.)

Right below pacificists on the "people who tick me off" list are those who continue to swear that the war in Iraq is unjust. (Frequently they hide behind religion as part of their reasoning.)

I'm not sure why religious people who take these positions arouse such ire in me. It could be that I think they mis-represent Christianity. Frequently it's these types who go around shouting about how God isn't a Republican, but then they assert, in effect, that he's a liberal democrat.

I'm generally not a violent person but I have an irrational desire to beat the crap out of these people...but that's just me.

Call Me!

2005-05-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

The other day I was sitting in an extremely long meeting. It was in one of those conference rooms that you see in newer offices where one whole wall of the room is glass and you can see the hallway.

I guess using more glass lends a less claustrophobic feel to the room and it also probably prevents your co-workers who are having affairs with each other from using the table for their illicit trysts. But it's also extremely unfair to people like me. People who HATE sitting in meetings and almost every meeting, even those of short duration, seem LONG and BORING.

There I am, sitting in my meeting. Occasionally, someone walks by in the hall outside. I felt like I was in a cage and those people were able to run free (free range office workers) while I was penned up. I wanted to hum, "Born-Free, as free as the wind should be, as free as..." you get the idea.

That's when the idea for a new business hit me. The customer knows they'll be in a boring meeting, maybe even a church service, a lecture, even on a date, whatever, and they want an excuse to leave. They just go to the web and submit their cell phone number and the time they'd like you to call them. For a very small fee, you do so. They could even suggest what you should say in case the call is overheard.

Sounds like a big money maker to me.

The service would be called, "Call Me" and the theme song on the commercial would, of course, be the song Call Me!

Types with Keyboard

2005-05-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

"Dances with Wolves", the movie with Kevin Costner, was on tv over the weekend. When it first came out I thought it was an okay movie if you could ignore the liberal bias and sermonizing in it. I watched it for a while yesterday. I didn't watch the whole thing since I'd rather have dental work without anesthetic than sit through a 3 hour movie with commercials every 10 minutes. But I watched enough of it to be really impressed at how good of a movie it was.

I suspect I didn't notice as much of the liberal dogma because we've gotten so used to it in virtually everything coming out of hollywood these days. Speaking of Hollywood, I don't see nearly as many movies as I used to. Maybe that means something too.

I should get Dances with Wolves on DVD and watch it. No, on second thought, life is too short for watching 3 hour movies especially politically correct ones. (Mental note to self: Don't go see Kingdom of Heaven.)

MSM blah blah blah

2005-05-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

The leftward bias of the mainstream media has become so common that it seems almost like a cliche' to even mention it. Most people, at least most people with the exception of Michael Moore and a few other kooks, acknowledge the bias that seems ever-present.

The big frenzy over the Newsweek story which erroneously stated that a US Soldier destroyed the Koran in an attempt to interrogate someone is a prime example. Of course, everyone wants to beat up on Newsweek - not only for their sloppy reporting but for the subsequent non-apology apology. Yes they should report better but did they cause all those deaths and rioting? Let's face it, the people that rioted in Afghanistan and elsewhere were just looking for an excuse. If it wasn't this it would've been something else.

While we're on the subject of media bias, the Washington Post reported today on some "parallels" between the events in the new Star Wars movie and the Bush Administration. The supposed lesson was about how good intentions can turn a democracy into a dictatorship. I could picture the reporter rubbing his hands together with glee as he composed this story.

I'm tired of complaining about media bias. Complaining doesn't do any good and no rational argument will convince anyone in the media to report in any other way. The only thing capable of stopping media bias is the market. Two things need to happen to remedy this situation. First, if you are tired of the bias in a specific broadcast, stop watching and stop buying the products advertised. Second, if you're a fatcat Republican or even Libertarian how about putting your money where your mouth is and investing it in starting a newspaper or television network. Fox is great, but there's plenty of room out there for others. It isn't necessary or even advisable to start another network or newspaper to feed political talking points to the public, from a Left or Right point of view. It's only necessary to bring fair reporting.

Until conservatives make better progress in the media and the education establishments, conservative viewpoints, and even the existence of the Republic are under constant threat. So stop complaining. Start your own personal boycott and if you're stinkin' rich pony up some money.

The Lexicon of DOA

2005-05-10T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is an anonymous blog so I need to have a lexicon of sorts to make it easier to communicate certain things. It's a mixture of LOTR, Narnia, and whatever else pops into my head. Keep in mind that the characterisations are exaggerated. However, there is usually more than a seed of truth in them.

The Dark Lord
My egotistical arrogant ass of a boss. He's king over all he surveys and knows it. He's a legend in his own mind. When he's in front of the tv cameras or with people he wants to impress, he thinks he's fooling everyone but somehow I doubt it. Also known as Lord Sauron, The Emperor, or Himself.

Angel of Death
She's the hatchet person for the dark lord. If she shows up at your office or cubical unannounced it means that your career at the firm has come to an abrupt end. She'll smile while she terminates you. She is totally amoral and would kill for the dark lord. Don't cross her.

The Crystal Palace
The most recent office of the firm. Constructed as a showplace of sorts to help show off the firms products. It's a testament to the gargantuan ego of the dark lord.

The Hinterlands
Any area outside the 200 mile radius of Metropolis. If I was a blue stater or Hillary Clinton I'd refer to this as flyover country.

Metropolis
It isn't one city but more like an entire region. It spans for a radius of about 200 miles from the downtown area.

Mayberry
The town where I live. An idyllic place, more or less.

The Firm
My employer. If you're one of the stars they try to make you comfortable so you'll never leave. If you're not, then you're cannon fodder. Most people are somewhere in between depending on the whims of the dark lord. Not a bad place really but it's sole purpose is to serve the dark lord.

The Redoubt
My office. It's in a different location than much of The Firm's business and it's a place where I more or less call the shots. I've managed to corrupt most of those who work for me so that our workplace culture, while still one that emphasizes excellence, is a much saner place to work than the rest of the firm.

More to be added...

Nagging Pessimism

2005-05-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

I received a promotion of sorts last night. I should be thrilled and I guess I'm happy about it, but mostly there's just the fear that somehow I'll screw it up. It's not that I'm a screw-up. I'm fairly succesful in my job, an elder at church, etc... but there's always that sense of inadequacy lurking in the background.

It's not that I'm perfect either. I'm a procrastinator. I have an annoying tendency to be late for everything and I don't always follow-through with things the way I should.

I pray that somehow God will take this bundle of successes and failures and make it into something really cool. In the meantime, I'm going to have to learn to shake off the nagging pessimism.

Catface, Dogface

2005-05-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

I just read a post that had me laughing out loud. It's about the difference between cats and dogs,
"So let me get this straight: you let a furry animal take a shit in a box of sand, bury it with his paws, and then hop up onto furntiture, even your own bed, to lick the spare poo off of his butt? That is foul."
It goes on...
"But I can throw a racquetball at one of my two dogs, and then sit down with a cold drink and a smoke to spend the next 20 minutes watching two 70-pound canines play an elaborate dance-like game with each other. It's absolutely fascinating and hilarious. It's like watching midgets sumo wrestle in fur suits while fighting over possession of a little blue ball of ecstasy. It's laugh-out-loud funny, is all I'm saying."
As far as I'm concerned Dogs rank higher than cats. Cats are okay, but the dog is king.
Go read the whole thing. It's funny and it's here.

Bald is The New Mullet

2005-05-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

Over at Rate My Mullet they characterize the mullet wearing type of person,
"Research on the mullet phenomena, at this stage, is still in its infancy. However it is suggested by many top laboratories that the mullet, as it slowly reaches maturity, begins to grow tentacles into the brain of the victim. which affect several areas of the brain and fundamentally alter the candidate's actions and behavioural responses. Said behavioural changes mainly include extreme agression, the proclivity to consume large amounts of alcohol, pedophilia, lack of hygeine, dramatic reduction in inhibitions (often bolstered by the consumption of alcohol), sense of paranoia and distrust towards authority/governmental figures, and most importantly - steadily decreasing IQ levels."
Lately, though, I've been noticing people with these same characteristics who are bald. Not bald as in, "I'm a poor guy of a certain age who's lost his hair due to bad genes." but bald as in, "I want to look like a bad-ass so I'm going to shave off all my hair."
I'm no sociologist, but I may be onto a trend here. Remember, you heard it here first, Bald is the new Mullet.

Postcard Voyeur

2005-05-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

I couldn't handle working at the post office. I'm too nosy. I would want to read people's postcards. Which is the reason, I guess, that PostSecret is so darn addictive.

People send in postcards containing a secret. He posts them. It's a simple concept but pretty entertaining.

I'm tempted to send in a postcard...but I can't think of any secrets.

You Own Nothing!

2005-04-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

I'm on a mailing list for a company called, Linspire. They sell computers with the linux operating system. Their president, Michael Robertson, does a periodic mailing that promotes his company and brings up important issues in regard to linux. His last mailing was really good in that it pointed out a dangerous trend in software and computer hardware, the trend toward "licensing" the use of a product rather than buying it. Here's a quote from his post,
"I want to own my property. I want the liberty to decide what software I use. I want the freedom to listen to music and movies that I pay for on whatever device I want."

Since I don't know where to link to it, I've pasted the rest of it below. It makes for good reading and it's worth thinking about,

You Own Nothing

About a year ago, it was revealed that I was the benefactor for the $200,000 Linux on Xbox project. The goal was to get Linux running on an Xbox without making any hardware changes. Many people perceived the project as a jab at Microsoft. It wasn't. Others thought it was an attempt to get publicity for Linspire. It wasn't (they used another Linux product). In fact, I did it in secret so the focus would be on the technical challenge and the implications of closed hardware. Only after the project leaders begged me to disclose my name because it would bring more attention to the effort did I allow them to tell the press. Though the project did not achieve its full technical goal, still $150,000 was distributed. To me it was money well spent because it raised awareness of the biggest threat to personal ownership in the digital age - DRM (Digital Restrictions Management).

In spite of sharing the insides with a traditional PC, the Xbox has a dramatic and dangerous difference. A PC buyer can install any software or hardware that they wish. They own the machine and can change it to suit their needs - true ownership. There are no limitations. This open architecture is largely responsible for the two-decade personal computer revolution. With an Xbox, the user is merely renting the box. Microsoft decides what software (games) users can load and even how they can use it. When it connects to the net, Microsoft can and has instructed the machine to change its behavior to block certain users, functionality or software that it does not agree with. They are changing the rules after you purchase it to suit their needs and not your needs.

The Xbox served as the training wheels for Microsoft's new Longhorn operating system, which is slipping to a 2007 launch. Like the Xbox, Longhorn will limit what software you can load. In the guise of "security", Microsoft is trying to dramatically change the way PCs work. Instead of the owner deciding what software they want to install and run, Microsoft is seizing that power from them. Under the smokescreen of security, they are pronouncing that it is good for Microsoft to decide what software you can use.

It's the ultimate marketing challenge to explain to the world that turning over more control to Microsoft is an improvement that computer users should desire and pay money for. Microsoft has floated a series of hyper-technical sounding initiatives like Palladium and Next-Generation Secure Computing Base (NGSCB), each time explaining why it's a good thing for Microsoft to decide what software users should use. Earlier this week, Bill Gates talked about how it was like a "black box flight recorder," a not-so-subtle reference to 9/11 designed to tug on emotions. I leave it to others to comment on whether Microsoft has the security track record to decide what software is secure enough for me to be running. I'm more interested in the liberty and cost issues.

Some of you may be wondering why having choice over software is a "liberty" issue. We are quickly moving to a world where every communication, document, photo, song and movie is digitized and living on a PC or PC-like device. Software is the gateway to access parts of those elements. Without control over the software, there is no control of the underlying digital item. Your access can be taken away or modified at anytime. No control means you do not have ownership. This would be like buying a new home and then finding out that someone else has the keys to the front door and they control your access in and out of the home. You'd hardly feel like a home "owner" in such a situation.

Let me give you a concrete example. The biggest deployment of software control is Apple Computer's iTunes. Unbeknown to most users, all the music purchased from iTunes music store is only accessible from iTunes software because of DRM limitations. Buyers can't decide to listen to their songs on other software or even other hardware devices - Apple decides that, and they can change the rules when it suits them. (Apple states this in their Terms of Use.)

Unfortunately this is not a theoretical risk; it has already happened several times. Apple removed the ability to stream music from your home and office if they are on different networks. They tightened restrictions on how many CDs you can burn. They further clamped down on how many computers can stream the music simultaneously. They've even altered the iTunes software to limiting interoperability with music from competitor Real Networks. The problem is that this change all take place after you purchase the music and will continue to happen whenever it suits Apple. Music buyers are forced to use the new software because of bug fixes, security issues and new music needs they have, forcing users to meekly swallow the arbitrary changes Apple makes, which affects their music purchases. This is analogous to a rental agreement where the landlord can raise the rent, ban pets, or change other rules on a moment's notice. Now imagine this same corporate control over every document, photo, video as well as music file. This is what Microsoft will have and more if they can dictate what software can be run on your PC with their upcoming operating system.

I want to own my property. I want the liberty to decide what software I use. I want the freedom to listen to music and movies that I pay for on whatever device I want. I might like iTunes today, Windows Media tomorrow and Lsongs next year. I want that choice. The world needs consumers to have that choice so they will always be treated fairly. If consumers lose the choice they become locked into one vendor and lose control over the digital products they had purchased and assumed they "owned."

I don't think Apple or Microsoft are intentionally evil. I just think that corporations cannot resist the urge to block competitors and squeeze customers at every turn. If Microsoft controls what software I can run, they will charge a lot of money for that software because I will be locked in. If Apple has control, they will make it only work on their hardware, which won't be cheap. I don't want any company - even Linspire - controlling my digital world. If a corporation controls my PC, my software or how I use my digital property, then I really don't own it. Historian Lord Acton said it best:

"The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern... Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Linspire, MP3.com, SIPphone, MP3tunes, and all the other companies I am or have been involved with have steadfastly stood for open standards. I will continue to champion choice for consumers so each of us truly can own and control our property, including the portfolio of digital property consumers are acquiring in today's ever-expanding digital world.

-- Michael
=============

You can read past posts from Michael here.

Your Inner Packrat

2005-04-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

One of my least admirable qualities is that I'm a packrat; I collect stuff on the offchance that I will someday be able to use it. I offer as proof the following:

I have my very first driver's license - but that's not the proof of packratism the proof is that I also have every other ID card from every year of school from my freshman year through graduate school. I've been out of graduate school for 17 years.

I still have the license plate from a car that I sold 10 years ago. It isn't a vanity plate, just a run of the mill license plate. Why do I keep it? I have no idea.

I have some floppy disks from my commodore 64 computer. I don't have the computer anymore and they're 5.25" disks.

Now that I've established myself as a true packrat, let me lead you down the path to the "dark side" of packratism.

It's called Delicious and I've only known about it for 2 or 3 months, but it's changed the way I surf the net. Delicious is an online bookmark manager. When you come to some website that you'd like to bookmark you hit the link you've setup on your tool bar and up comes the Delicious interface. You then make up a tag, any tag you'd like, to assign to the bookmark. In this way you are able to build up a robust list of all the sites you think are useful or interesting. I love delicious. Yet, it really brings out the packrat in me.

If you look at my tags, you get a sense that this could be addictive. There's so much out there on the net that could be useful. If you're a packrat, you have that inner voice encouraging you to constantly bookmark things in delicious. Afterall, you may want to re-visit that site again for it's "vital" information.

My tags are:

bible blogger blogs books_i_want business cellphone cheatsheets check_later check_out code comics cool css daily daniel delicious design design_examples download eap economic_dev flash free_pics get_a_job get_stuff gmail google govt_resource hacks html javascript ldap magazines milblogs milblogs2 mozilla nice_design pet_stuff photoshop powerpoint propaganda religion research roseweb rss rules_of_thumb scooter sitecounter software sources soviet special_forces urban_exploration village_govt village_websites weird wiki wiki_knowledge yagohoogle!

One of the neat things about delicious is that you can see what sites others have assigned to those same tags. For example, I have a tag that I call "code". I can see the sites that everyone else has tagged Code. Then there's a tag called, Daily.

I try to keep the packrat thing under control. The last time I got a new toothbrush I hesitated before throwing the old one out. Hey, it could be useful for cleaning the tile in the bathroom. Fortunately, I realized that I had to draw the line somewhere and tossed it in the garbage. Check out Delicious, it's pretty cool.

Too Many RINO's?

2005-04-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

President Bush is scheduled to deliver a press conference tonight and it's about time. Although conservatives won the election, there hasn't been much to celebrate lately.

Yes, the war in Iraq seems to be moving in a positive direction and democracy is breaking out in various places. But on the domestic front there hasn't been much progress. Not all of it is the President's fault. Much of the blame rests on the republicans in congress who don't seem to know what to do with their increased power.

Democrats may have lost the election for the most part but in the media they're still alive and well. Media partisanship hasn't gone away with the election and it continues to hamstring both the president and his republican colleagues. Somehow the message on the President's key issues has to get out and it isn't.

As a Grouchy Neocon I've been a little dismayed at the tepid reaction of both the president and congress on some important issues:

The Border - It's ludicrous to spend vast amounts of time and money overhauling the intelligence community and then fail to stem the tide of illegal immigrants coming across our borders. The next terrorist and his cell of supporters may very well come across the border undetected - they may already be here and yet nothing is done.
Social Security - It's my money and I want it back. Allowing me to invest a paltry portion of it is the least the government can do. Yet, the Vast Leftwing Conspiracy including AARP would rather let government take care of my money. They'll take care of it and I won't end up seeing much of it. Word needs to get out about this much more effectively. Where is congress on this and why does it seem like this is a solo effort on the part of the President?
Judges - The most influential legacy any President can leave is judicial appointments. Why is it taking so long to overcome Democrat's finagling on this issue? Republicans in congress are too scared of the public opinion polls to do the right thing on this. Those public opinion polls are sponsored by the same media that tried to elect John Kerry. If the Democrats were in the majority, the rules would've already been changed to allow for an up or down vote on every nominee.
Energy - In the paper the other day was a picture of the President literally holding hands with the crown prince of Saudi Arabia. The Saudis aren't our friends. We need to remove our dependence on foreign oil ASAP and if we're going to subsidize the defense of Saudi Arabia and most of Europe then we need to see something for it. High gas prices strangle our economy.
China - Not much has been said about them but they continue to eye Taiwan. They need to know in no uncertain terms that we will defend that democracy aggressively. America needs to wake up to this growing threat before it's too late.

A lot of work needs to be done in Washington and Republicans need to get to work and stop worrying about polls. I hope the President can turn the tide in this battle but I'm not expecting too much. I suppose things could be worse. John Kerry could be President. It makes me shudder just to think of it.

Sexy, Single and Christian

2005-04-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's my age. I'm at that point in life where a lot of people I know are getting divorced and/or remarried. They seem to find new partners pretty quickly and that isn't necessarily bad.

There's something that's been bothering me though. It's the fact that many of these people are Christians - people who know the doctrine of their church, who know what it says in the bible about certain things, yet they are content to live with and presumably sleep with their new partner, prospective new spouse.

Maybe you are a member of a religion that doesn't frown on premarital sex and thinks it's perfectly okay for people to live together before marriage. If so, then you're in the minority. All of the major Christian denominations with which I'm familiar explicitly forbid it.

Yet these people continue to act as if what they are doing is perfectly okay. They attend church regularly - certainly a good thing for anyone, even those "living in sin", but you'd think they might be a little embarrased to show up at church after rolling out of the sack with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

I suppose there are worse things people could be doing and at mid-life, especially having been married before, it might be a little difficult to refrain from premarital sex. I don't know about your experience but it was tough enough to refrain the first time around at the age of 18 with hormones raging. I suppose that being intimate with each other comes more naturally the next time around. Fortunately, I don't know about this from firsthand experience since I'm happily married to my first wife.

Regardless of a person's past history there are still problems with the practice of living together before you are married. For one thing, it becomes awfully difficult to expect your children to wait for marriage since they've clearly seen that you didn't. For another, there's the risk that this new relationship isn't permanent and will vanish as quickly as it became established. Then there's the effect that blithely ignoring your conscience will have on your spiritual life.

(This is one of those points where I'm glad this is an anonymous blog. ) I happen to be one of those guys who loves sex. My wife swears I'm obsessed with it. I think I'm probably pretty normal in this regard. But as much as I love sex, I love my kids even more. If, for some reason, I wasn't with my wife any longer (something I hope never happens) and I got a new girlfriend, I would wait before being intimate with her or moving in together. I want my children to experience the best that God has to offer and to teach them any differently would be totally unacceptable to me as a parent.

So, why is it that so many other people don't seem to care about this?

Character and High Office: John Bolton

2005-04-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

I believe the truest measure of a man is how he treats people with whom he doesn't have to be nice. Anyone can be a shameless suckup to those in power or even those of equal power, but to be nice to someone underneath you is the best test.

I'm not in favor of John Bolton's nomination to be ambassador to the UN. In fact, I wouldn't want the guy to be head dog catcher. The reason is that he seems to treat people beneath him like dirt. The fact that he reminds me of a walrus is just icing on the cake.

The Democrats have tried to "Bork" this guy but I think there's more to the case than partisan politics. There's the testimony of, Carl Ford, a former colleague at the State Department and a firm Bush supporter, "Secretary Bolton chose to reach five or six levels below him in the bureaucracy, bring an analyst into his office and give him a tongue-lashing..." [source] The former ambassador to South Korea also had some choice words about Mr. Bolton according to the Chicago Sun Times, "As it resumed digging into Bolton's past, the Foreign Relations panel received accusations of confrontation and undiplomatic behavior from Hubbard, who retired from the foreign service last year and joined a Washington law firm." [Source] Add to that a letter from 60 retired diplomats opposing his nomination and this is definitely more than just the mud-slinging of Democrats.

We've all met people like John Bolton. We've probably all had bosses, teachers, or co-workers like him. Often they seem to get ahead despite their lack of character. Well, this is one guy that I hope will finally get stopped.

I only wish GWB would've checked this guy out a little better before they nominated him to this post. It was an unfortunate decision.

Super Genius

2005-04-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

My boss, the ceo, is a freakin' genius. How do I know this? Well, it's because he always knows everything. No doubts whatsoever. The energy crisis? He's got the answer. Problems with the education system? Just ask him. He knows.

Maybe I sound a little bitter. Maybe I am. The problem comes when I'm supposed to follow his orders. He's the boss and what the boss says is the way it has to be. I don't have a problem with that. The real problem here is respect. I don't respect someone that never has any doubts.

I think such people are generally idiots. Not that my boss is an idiot. He's a very smart and successful man. But he never has doubts, at least none that I've ever heard him express. Someone like that is a catastrophe - maybe even several catastrophe's waiting to happen.

I have doubts all the time and there are many occasions where I've had to admit I was wrong. I consider the willingness to admit that you don't know everything a mark of character. There's a whole lot of people running around without any character - I just wish I didn't have to work for one of them.

Popus Interruptus

2005-04-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

Everything's about the Pope these days. It's pope-this and pope-that. People who aren't even Catholic seem to be interested in the goings-on at the Vatican.

I'm not Catholic but I don't have anything against the Pope. It's just that after Pope John Paul II died - actually it was even before he was dead - there was constant coverage of him. Turning on the TV was like watching POPE-TV, "all pope all the time". I imagine he was a pretty good guy, but nobody's that good.

Now there's a new pope. Pope Benedict XVI. I guess he's real conservative which in today's culture means that he actually believes the basic tenents of the Catholic faith. But I see a lot of people on the news complaining about the Pope's beliefs. My response to them would be, "Quit your whining! You know the basic beliefs and he's the guy who's supposed to stand up for them. He's standing up for them and you are complaining? If you don't like the Catholic beliefs, don't be a Catholic! Start your own religion!"

I'm protestant and I freely admit I don't understand Catholicism. The centralized nature of it strikes me as being very european and that's not a good thing. I don't see anywhere in the bible where it says there should be a pope, cardinals, etc, let alone anything about funny hats and funky looking outfits.

Besides some key theological differences I think Catholics have a lot in common with bible believing protestants. So in that vein, I hope Pope Benedict is successful.